Tuesday, October 23, 2012


An example of one of Jackson's
October 18, 1862
Written for the Illustrated News.
"Foot-Cavalry Chronicle."
By Hard Cracker.

(1.) Man that is born of woman and enlisteth in "Jackson's army" is of few days and short rations.
(2.) He cometh forth at "reveille," is present also at "retreat," and retireth apparently at "taps."
(3.) He draweth his rations from the commissary and devoureth the same; he striketh his teeth against much hard bread, and is satisfied; he filleth his canteen with "aqua pura," and clappeth the mouth thereof upon the "bung" of a whiskey barrel, and after a little while goeth away rejoicing at his strategy.
(4.) Much soldiering hath made him sharp; yea, even the sole of his shoe is in danger of being cut through.
(5.) He covenanteth with the credulous farmer for many chickens, and much milk and honey, to be paid for promptly at the end of each six days, when lo! on the 5th day the army moveth to another part.
(6.) His tent is filled with potatoes, pies, corn and other morsels for his delicate appetite, which abound not in said commissary department; and many other borrowed things, which will never be returned. Of a surety, it must be said of "Jackson's foot cavalry," "they take not that which they cannot reach."
(7.) He fireth his Minie rifle at the dead hour of night, and the camp is roused and formed in line—when, to his mess he cometh bearing a fine "porker"—which he declareth so resembleth a Yankee that he was compelled to pull trigger.
(8.) He giveth the "provost" much trouble; often capturing his guard and possessing himself of the city.
(9.) At such times "lager and pretzels" flow like milk and honey from his generous hand. He giveth, without stint, to his own stomach.
(10.) The grunt of a pig and the crowing of a cock awakeneth him from the soundest sleep, and he sauntereth forth in search or the quadruped or biped that dareth to "make night hideous."
(11.) No sooner hath he passed the sentry's beat than he striketh a "bee-line" for the nearest hen roost, and seizing a pair of pullets, returneth soliloquizing to himself, "the noise of a goose saved Rome, how much more the flesh of the chicken preserveth the soldier."
(12.) He playeth "eucre" with the parson, whether there shall be preaching in camp on the Sabbath, and by dexterously turning jack from the bottom of the pack, postponeth the service.
(13.) And many other marvelous things doeth he; and, lo! are they not already recorded in the morning reports of "Jackson's foot cavalry?"
Camp of the "Turned-Over and Used-Ups," Sept. 27, 1862.

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